The Stilts (Formerly Known as Shoes)

In my family, I am known for my high heels. They would not know what to do if I attended any family event without them, this includes even sport-like events that I am not watching but participating in.  Yeah, I am just that good in heels.  Really though heels are a necessity for me. At 5'2 and not knowing how to hem pants and refusing to buy petite length pants, I HAVE to wear heels a lot just so that my pants will fit.  But I love heels and I love the one and a half to two extra inches I get.  Yes, that is right I said one and a half to two extra inches. Not three or four.  I feel very tall with my couple extra inches and wonder as I walk in my heels why again I wasn't tall enough for modeling or the Rockettes.  I can dance in heels!  But I still wasn't tall enough.  However, put me in the mega heels that are so popular today and I don't feel tall, I feel like I need an oxygen mask to keep from being lightheaded. Yes, I get lightheaded at this height even though I am only up there for a few seconds before I fall.  For a dancer, I sure am clumsy!

But seriously what is up with the height of shoes these days?  You seem to get two choices: prairie-plain-like flat or hooker high!  The selection of shoes makes one of my very serious New Year's resolutions extremely challenging. I knew this resolution would be a challenge but I thought I could at least attempt the very esteemed goal of buying more shoes in 2011.  However, shopping for the perfect shoe is getting more and  more difficult.  For example, I absolutely love Lulu's in Oxford (yes, store owners of Lulu's you can pay me later in shoes for this plug) but finding shoes that I can actually walk out of the store wearing is getting harder and harder.  I can find plenty that I can sit in but not walk in,let alone barely stand in without the aid of something to hold on to as I propel myself up, up, and away on those jet liner heels.

And stop! Don't even think about suggesting it! I will not wear flats.  Yuck! I feel dumpy and shorter than my 5'2 height.  My idea of a flat is a platform shoe.  Afterall the bottom of the shoe is flat, right? But there are a ton of flats to choose from in Lulu's. Such a waste to design such beautiful shoes but forget the heel on them.  But I guess this section of Lulu's could be the "tall girl who doesn't need heels" section. So what selections are left for the short girls?  The shoes that will make you as tall as your tall girlfriends.  Let's do the math here, I am 5'2 (have I mentioned that yet?) and my tallest friends are around 6 feet.  Ok, so I am actually 5'1'' and 3/4ths but for my self-esteem I stand up straight and fudge my height ever so slightly.  Give a short girl a break already!  But anyway, that means for me to catch up with them I have to go to the stilt section of the shoe store. Ahhhh but no worries because THAT is just how high the heels are that are currently in fashion today.

I tell myself that I can wear these heels just like anyone else does and find the shortest of the ladders, I mean shoes.  I find some really cute ones (not ones that look like torture traps but that is a whole other blog) and sit down to try them on.  So cute on while sitting! And then I stand and wobble.  I know how Bambi feels but the lady beside me was far from friendly Thumper.  Because when I said in a lighthearted way that I would need to take a class to learn how to stand in these shoes, she just glared at me in disgrace.  I stopped myself from telling her that I am the girliest girl I know and that by not being able to wear these stupid stilts does not make me any less girlie! But I kept my mouth shut and just thought really mean things about the glarer, things I shouldn't repeat in the written word. However if you really want to know, just call me.

Anyway, to stay on my goal of my buying more shoes this year I bought a pair of ridiculously high heels.  Seriously, the purchase was just to help me stay true to my New Year's resolution which I am very committed to completing. And I took a picture as proof! See below. I know they don't look that high but they really are. I wear them inside my home...sitting.  Sometimes I wobble around in them. I feel so flirty and feminine in them....before I fall.  I got the idea to take a picture of my shoes from a shoe obsessed friend of mine who  daily takes and posts pictures of her shoes on Facebook.  She has mastered the art of wearing the stilts.  However, I do notice that in all the pictures she, too, is sitting.  So is this what we have come to ladies?  We have one pair of seriously killer shoes for sitting and keep another pair handy for actual use?  Hmmm....stay tuned because I guess my next post will be about ridiculously huge handbags to carry our multiple pairs of shoes for multiple uses!

                                                     My cute "sitting" shoes from Lulu's!

The Slow, Sweet Life

I have often heard that compared to other people in the country, us Southerners like to take life slow.  We talk slow, walk slow, and some people think we think slowly as well.  Well, I will somewhat agree that some of us do talk slowly. I tend to speak fast especially when I get excited but I may be the exception to the rule. I do like to walk slowly especially on a beautiful sunny day but I am a short Southerner so even when I walk fast my 5’2 frame can only make so long of a stride!

We may even think slow. But not in the negative stereotype placed on us.  I know, of course, I am biased. If you have not figured out from the title of this blog, I am a Southerner. However, let me offer a different perspective on this slow perception of us.  Why is slow bad? Maybe we savor our thoughts like we savor our words and walks.  Maybe we mull over things and this long thought process takes us to the creative thoughts that also define our region.  Depth takes time and the Southern perspective is composed of layer upon layer hence needing time to slowly take in all the layers.

Another perspective on slowness is enjoyment. Why rush so much through life? I hate to hear people frequently say in a thankful tone that their day or even week was so busy but at least it flew by.  I often wonder when someone says that, especially often, what are they trying to rush to? Death?  If they are that miserable in their daily lives, I would think it is time for some serious self reflection.

Take time to slow down and enjoy a day.  I don’t want to hurry through my life just to get to the end of it.  Isn’t it after all the daily moments, the small pleasures, the slow walks, and the great thoughts that make up our lives? Of course all of us find days that we want to pass but in a content life those should be few in numbers.  And yes I get excited about an upcoming event and wish it would hurry up and get here. But for the majority of my days, I make time to celebrate my "dailyness". I slow down enough to recognize that getting a cup of a coffee with a friend, drinking a glass of wine on the balcony of City Grocery, having a special dinner in the middle of the week with family, or watching frivolous television shows are a few of the many sweet moments when things slow down and I realize once again that I have a very good life. So in the spirt of Southern slowness, I hope you can find something to savor today and many of your days!  Slow down y'all to enjoy the sweet life or at least some sweet tea!

Summer Dreaming

I sit here at my computer with a mug of hot coffee and cold feet as I write today. No, I am not nervous about anything. It is 32 degrees outside at 2:00 in the afternoon and my feet are seriously cold - even with socks on!  And the forecast is just looking colder and colder as the week goes on.

Growing up in South Mississippi, I wanted a true winter and I am grateful to experience one. However, now I am ready to go outside without fifty layers on but the weather is long from cooperating.  Therefore, I am composing a list of survival suggestions for all of us going through the Freezing Winter Blues.

Let the Sounds of the Islands...
The sounds of Bob Marley or Jimmy Buffett can instantly take you to the beach. I can almost feel the salt water breeze and hear the sounds of waves.  Unfortunately listening to this music in February does come with a drawback. As the music stops, so does the tropical mood. Be prepared for the incredible let down when the music quiets and you are able to hear the cold winds howling again! 

Paint Yourself Happy
Paint your toe nails a fun summer color!  Choose something like Flamingo Pink or Tequila Sunrise. Guys, you can do this too if you feel that it will help your mood. Desperate temperatures call for desperate measures, right? It isn't like anyone will see your toe nails with your feet nestled in those heavy socks and snow boots!  Just make sure you remove all signs of the polish before flip flop season arrives.

Margaritaville
Sip on frozen tropical drinks. The up side: you don't have to worry about the ice melting.  The down side: you will need to bundle up in blankets as you sip since the frozen concoction will make you even colder. If your hands are too cold to hold the drink, try wearing gloves as you sip.

Summer Fashion
Girls, put on that gorgeous sundress and strappy sandals. Guys, get comfy in your shorts and Hawaiian print shirts.   Inside. With the heat going full blast on 80. Admire your pretty summer colored toe nails.

Play Travel Agent
Plan your summer vacation and save the pictures of where you want to go to your screen.  Now you can sit at you computer and daydream as you look at the pictures. Don't worry about your eyes watering. Those are just tears forming as you realize that even the warm places like Florida are freezing at the moment as no where has been spared!

Or....
Enjoy trying these winter relief suggestions!  Or just quit complaining and go out to enjoy the snow.  Remember, about five months from now we will be complaining about the heat.  I guess for now I am going to get some more coffee and put on another pair of socks.

A Minute Reflection

When I am working out and feeling the challenge of pushing myself past my what I consider my physical limits, my mind wanders to what I can be. Am I a fitness fanatic in the making?  Could I be a master of yoga...what are yoga experts called anyway?  Maybe I could get certified and teach other people how to be fit.  I wonder do I allow myself to be all that I want to be in my life. Or do I let myself be shaped by my past ideas of what my identity should be.

The idea of constant self-evaluation and rediscovery of myself is exciting. I get to daydream about what choices I have made that are right for me and what things I want to add to my life to continue to shape my identity. I teach my students that goal setting and self reflection are important activities that sometimes get pushed to the side in the midst of daily life chaos. However, we have to focus on ourselves to develop into the people we want to be. Is there anything you want to change or add to your life?  Maybe one day I will be a dedicated fitness guru....what will you be? Are you working on it today?

ZUMBA!

A Mississippi Blizzard

If you ever want to see a region of happy people acting like children on Christmas morning, regardless of  age, travel South during a rare snow storm!  I am one of those happy people at the moment! But I have to admit that all this snow joy has left me a little sleepy today because I was unable to get much sleep last night. Really, who can sleep when you have, as one friend described it, snow flakes the size of fajita shells falling outside?  When I did finally fall asleep, I had nightmares. I dreamed that the snow had melted in the middle of the night! Thankfully, my nightmares did not come true and I woke up to 10 inches of beautiful snow.

SUPERSNOW SUNDAY

The sleet started yesterday afternoon around three but the preparations started a couple of days ago with the excitement building as we got closer to the predicted time of snowfall. The atmosphere in Krogers yesterday felt like a holiday quickly approaching as people hurried to grab the last few needed items. People were talking about the same thing, planning on cooking the same food, and just had that excited energy that said something big was about to happen. This weekend had the same type of preparation and anticipation as SuperBowl Sunday has, provoking me to playfully name yesterday SuperSnow Sunday.

BREAD AND MILK

We, as Americans, know there are a few items you have to have for SuperBowl Sunday. You must have a hearty dish prepared, usually chili.  A variety of chips and dips are available. Desserts are usually cookies so that you can pick up and eat as you watch the game. And of course, beer is readily available in most homes for the big game. 

We, as Southerners, know what you have to have for SuperSnow Sunday - bread and milk. Yuck.  Why are the two necessary items that quickly disappear off the shelves of any Southern grocery store so bland?  I can think of a lot of other foods I would like to have if I am snowed in.  Sure, bread and milk are fine but those two items alone sound awful.  Can't we have something more exciting?  Even the weatherman asked the viewers to please leave him a gallon of milk and bread, multigrain please! He knew that as he predicted the snow, Southerners were running out the door to grab their bread and milk!

At my house, we got our bread and milk but we also bought a variety of other foods too. We made chili and baked pumpkin bread. We also have a few items available in case the power went out like chocolate and chips.  Afterall, an emergency like a blizzard calls off all diets!  And of course, we made sure to stock up on snow wine. In case you don't know, snow wine is wine you drink when it is snowing outside.  This is the same wine you drink when it is not snowing outside but you just don't get to call it snow wine on those days.

SNOW DAYS, CARDBOARD SLEDS, AND SNOWMEN
                                                                                  

A few other necessary requirements for a Southern snow storm are days off, cardboard sleds, and snowmen.  Our northern friends...bless their hearts....they think we do not know how to drive in the snow.  I am going to let you in on a little Southern secret: we could drive in the snow if we wanted to do so. We just have chosen to not tell our emergency officials this little bit of information. We are smart and gladly accept the free day off from work.  To my yankee friends, you may want to stop bragging about your snow driving skills because you are only hurting yourself by having to go work when you could be home like us!

                                                                                               

As for cardboard sleds and snowmen, you will see us out early in the day (if we ever went inside at all) to take advantage of the rare snow.  We are inventive, using whatever will slide us down a hill as a sled.  Usually we have to use cardboard boxes because like snowplows, sleds just don't exist in the south as we would never use them.  So our children gladly slide their way to a variety of injuries on homemade, unsafe toys! 

I did not get the chance to slide down a hill today but I did spend the morning creating my snowwoman.  I wish it snowed more often because there is something very gratifying about rolling a big ball of snow around.  But then again if snow was a regular occurence, I guess I would not appreciate it as much.  Also, if snow was a common part of our winters, our emergency officials would most likely purchase snowplows. Then we would lose our snow days because we would be driving to work like our northern friends. With all those factors in mind, I will gladly take my rare snow day that shuts the South down for a day or two so we can all play. Happy Snow Day Y'all!

Peas and Resolutions

Traditions mean a lot to us Southerners. They are what bind us together even when jobs and new adventures take us to regions far away from the South.  One tradition that all of us hold onto with a religion-like commitment is the New Year's Day meal.  No matter where you are that day, you scramble to eat your black eyed peas, cabbage, and pork because this is the meal that gets the year off to a lucky, prosperous start.

This New Year's Day, my friends all over the South posted pictures or updated statuses of the requisite meal we were all eating.  The meal closed the miles between friends and family who have moved away and were spending their day in other states like New York and Montana.  There is something comforting about knowing that no matter where we all were, we were all  sharing the same meal that day.


The Search for Peas

This morning I asked my friend how her New Year's Day was with her great aunt who will soon be 94 years old.  She looked at me with an exasperated look and said, "She didn't have black eyed peas!"  As the perfect example of a Southerner, she went on to say that we all know that we have to have black eyed peas, cabbage, and ham for New Year's but her aunt had decided to have just the green side of the meal. She cooked cabbage, turnip greens, and ham.  I have to admit the superstitious side of me made me uncomfortable for her.  I know that it is all silly superstition but the meal is such a part of our culture that I would not want to start my year off without the peas for luck and the cabbage for money!

I laughed and responded that at least she will get a lot of money this year by eating two servings of greens.But my friend needed luck with her money! She ate the overloaded green meal with her aunt but suggested they go to a catfish restaurant for dinner so she could get her black eyed peas before the day was over.  They drive up to the place, only to find it closed.  She tells her aunt she has to find these peas and her aunt suggested another restaurant.  The other restaurant was opened....it was a Mexican restaurant.  Needless to say, they didn't have black eyed peas at La Margarita so my friend faces the beginning of her year without the necessary ingredients.  Maybe she will find a four leaf clover by St. Paddy's day to save her year! 


After the Meal and Champagne Toasts...

One thing that not all us Southerners necessarily do is set resolutions but I love them.  I do not understand why some people don't like them. I love dreaming about the adventures my year might hold. I enjoy envisioning how I can become better and accomplish new goals. To me, people who refuse resolutions are not merely bunking a societal norm for the sake of being different but instead are either afraid of failure or do not understand the benefits of challenge and growth. I set resolutions or goals for myself at least twice a year.  Once on my birthday which I consider to be my own personal new year's and on New Year's Day.

Of course as a career counselor, I teach people how to set goals and work toward them on a daily basis. By setting goals and keeping yourself in check you move from just existing in this life to really living. I set a lot each year. Some are serious while some are fun and frivolous. I write them down and check them often. I have yet to accomplish all of my resolutions but some years I come very close. However, if I had not set them at all then I would not even have come close, right? Like Norman Vincent Peale said, "Reach for the moon, even if you miss, you will fall among the stars." The point is to try and the new year gives us a symbolic reminder to try new things for our lives.

If you are still trying to decide whether or not to resolve to do something, I say do it.  Some different suggestions include fun resolutions like go to a place this year you have never been (on my list). You can do something frivolous like buy more shoes (that one also made my list this year). You may want to be more spiritual by attending church more, taking a religion class, or reading books that inspire your deeper side (yes, on my list). Of course, you can always lose weight and get healthier. One year I tried a year of trying something different every month.  I would record the new experience from that month in my journal. After the year was over, I had fun looking back on my new experiences that had added to my life that year.

This year my mother came up with the idea to set 11 resolutions for 2011. I followed her lead by doing the same thing. I won't list them all right now but if I even accomplish a portion of them then this year will be an exciting year in my life. Happy New Year Y'all!

Yes Casey, There is a Santa Claus

     “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”       
 -Albert Einstein


I still believe in Santa Claus. I recognize simple innonence does not exist for all of us therefore I feel very fortunate that this kind of wonder comes so easy to me.  Naturally as a child I questioned his existence, but my mother's response to my questions helped me become a childlike believer no matter what my age.

Yes Casey, there is a Santa Claus

I was about five when I first asked my mother about the existence of Santa Claus.  It was a few days before Christmas and I vividly remember the conversation.  My mother, always eloquent with her choice of words, carefully crafted her explanation as she explained, "Yes Casey, there is a Santa Claus."


Some parents might have panicked that their very young child was in danger of losing part of the mystique that characterizes childhood Christmases. They would have feverently denied being the ones placing the presents under the tree, but not my mother.  Treating her words as valuable currency, she remained calm because she believed what she was about to tell me.  See my mom still believes in Santa Claus too. Therefore, she felt  no need to fabricate an elaborate story because she had the facts.

"Yes," she began, "Santa Claus does exist but he is even bigger than what you know him to be!  He gives gifts in a variety of ways and not just under the tree on Christmas Eve. Santa is one representative of the giving, generous spirit that is Christmas."

Being a religious family, she explained how Santa loves Jesus and wants to be an example of unconditional love because he gives without expecting anything in return. She gave a caring, sweet answer to such a delicate question.  An answer that has stayed with me and helps me see that kind of giving everywhere this time of year. My mother helped her five-year-old understand what many older cynics sadly never do understand - a generous spirit that gives unconditionally.

The Existence of St. Nicholas

She could have stopped with that explanation but she continued with more proof of his existence through a family story. When my cousins were little their mother was sick in the hospital and unable to shop for Christmas presents.  My mother along with my grandmother bought a few gifts for them to open on Christmas morning.  Mom told me that they appeared to love their presents and were excited to show them off to their friends.  They got dressed later that morning and were running out of the house to play when they opened the door to a Christmas surprise. There sat a big sack on the front porch.  Perplexed they looked at the sack and the note read, "To Christy and Jimmy, Love, St. Nicholas."  In the bag were more toys for both of them.  St. Nicholas had remembered two sweet children in Jackson, MS. The bag was a mysterious surprise to all in the family but a real example of the giving, caring spirit that St. Nicholas represents.

If you need a little help believing this season, leave your house for a moment.  Take a deep breath and brave the craziness of last minute frenzied, tired shoppers.  Look past the chaos.  See the person ringing the bell by the red bucket.  He is bundled up and still freezing but is volunteering his time to help others. See the child that is excited to stuff a crumpled up dollar bill in the slot of the bucket. See the person offering a smile to a stranger.  See the teenager offering to lift a heavy present into a car for an elderly shopper. 

Go home. Turn on the news. Look past the war, political arguments, and bad weather. See the people organizing food drives for the needy and surpassing their goal.  See the toy drives and the children who will receive presents this year because of the love of strangers.  See the families who are in tears as their soldier walks through the door unexpectedly arriving home for the holidays. Yes, the generous giving spirit of Christmas is everywhere.


May You All Be Blessed with Childlike Wonder and Mystery

A simple google search will yield many links that will help you better understand the life of the real St. Nicholas.  He was born in a Greek area that is now Turkey.  His family was wealthy but died when St. Nicholas was young.  Following Jesus's command to give to the poor, he dedicated his life to God and assisted the poor and suffering.  He was known for his love of children and there are many stories of all his generous deeds.  These stories form what we know of this Saint today.

St. Nicholas represents so much more than just a shiny new toy on Christmas morning.  To me, he is a symbol of generous love and concern for others especially the needy.  The legend we tell our children today represents anonymous giving and concern for others.  The story also helps teach about the existence of  mystery and the unknown in life.  Mystique in our world is something that children easily understand but we as adults often try to explain away.  I work hard to preserve this wonder in my life because it is a comfort to know that we are small in this world and things we cannot see are very real. The invisible is even bigger than what we can imagine. 

I indulge in my childlike side. I play a lot. I listen to stories of miracles. And I will find the time to walk out in the peaceful night of Christmas Eve to look up in to the sky to see if I can catch a glimpse of a flash that possibly could be a jolly ole Elf.  After all, as the movie Polar Express tells us, Santa exists in the eyes of those who believe.

My Christmas wish for all of you is that you experience a lot of generous love and childlike wonder. I may even see you outside with me on Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas to all and the peace of the Lord be with you!


     “And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”  -Robert Dahl

A RECIPE FOR A GOOD OLE' SOUTHERN CHRISTMAS

3 parts family and friends

2 parts of a variety of Church services (Any variety will do: candelight services, cantatas, Christmas Eve mass, etc.)

1 part of ole family stories

A few mad dashes of Christmas shopping

Sprinkling of Christmas decorations with the ongoing debate of white lights v. color lights (we choose both)

1 part Grandma's cornbread dressing (not to EVER be confused with stuffing) with the ongoing debate of sage v. no sage (we are a definite no sage family)

1/2 cup of the traditional gelatin salad (if you want to get really Southern, you must have it in a gelatin mold)

A few pinches of a variety of casseroles (marshmallows optional)

Tell all the ole family stories excitedly as if you have never told them before, even though everyone has heard them year after year. For even bigger stories, tell with plenty of wine as they get more unbelievable directly in porportion to the amount of wine flowing. 

Add the rest of the indgredients and mix well.  Then spread a good amount of hunting, bowl games, leftovers, and your own unique family traditions on top.  Garnish with our family's favorite: You Brown 'Um Rolls.

                                            Some of my family on Christmas Day 2009