Pregnancy Pounds

I was a chubby kid.  Or soft. Or maybe you can call it baby fat that lasted until I was about 20.  I was told by well meaning people that I could work out more. I always found that interesting because between dancing at a private studio and school, I logged in about 20 hours of dance each week.  However, I ate a lot of sugar and processed foods. A lot. I always dieted. Always. But I could be reverse psychology's case example. Every time I dieted and tried to focus on melting away those pounds, I would add more. Because I am a perfectionist and so when I could not be a perfect (every day) then I just threw the day away and ate (every day).

When I got to college, I continued with the diets. Some worked for awhile like Weight Watchers but I always manage to get off of it and go on a happy binge. After enough diets to qualify me for a nutrition degree, I finally realized a scary thought. Diets don't work. It was a horrifying thought. I was so scared because if I stayed about 15 to 20 pounds overweight while I was so called dieting then what would happen if I don't diet?

After a few attempts of walking away from diets, I found out. I lost all the weight. All of a sudden I realized I can control what I eat for my health.  My health and energy became my focus. I ate less because I focused on what made me full and healthy. Following Dr. Oz's sensible guideline, I avoided sugar and processed foods because diet or not, those foods are just not good for you. In the last year, I gave up gluten because of stomach issues and more weight came off. While some may call this a diet, I don't. I am not obsessed with counting calories or denying myself food. I just focus on what is healthy and portion sizes. Until now.

Enter the world of pregnancy and back comes my perfectionist side. Early in my pregnancy, I read the guidelines of how much weight I should gain which is around 25 pounds. I took it a step further and read how much weight I should gain in the first trimester which is about 1 to 5 pounds. I went a little obsessive and read those online boards where all these skinny mama-to-be's complained about not gaining enough weight or even losing in the first trimester. Then of course they would post some ridiculously low weight that is considered underweight for even a non-pregnant woman. I compared myself. Wrong but I wanted to have the perfect pregnancy. I wanted to gain the perfect amount of weight and be the perfect little pregnant patient for my doctor. Perfectionism sucks.  So what did I do? I ate more than ever.  I started watching that scale every day and getting more anxious. And what happened? I packed more pounds than the recommendation. I was not happy with myself.

Then my mom reminded me that watching a scale and trying to be perfect has always worked the opposite for me. I needed to focus on health. That is all I can control and as long as I am eating healthy then the weight gain will be a healthy weight gain. My advice to all those new mama-to-be's is to do the same. Stay away from the scale. Those numbers only matter to the doctor. If the doctor is concerned, he or she will say something. In the meantime, eat healthy and work out. What a relief it has been for me to come to this realization. Now where is that apple?

Nausea

I can't really complain. The only uncomfortable symptom I have had so far is morning, noon and night nausea. A persistent nausea that causes me to squint my face with a random variety of smells. The once pleasant smells like fresh brewed coffee or the clean smell of laundry detergent can make me gag. I have not been sick and hopefully will not get sick but the nausea can wear on you.

My days for the last several weeks are focused on looking for the next miracle food or drink that will take the nausea away - even if just for a few moments. Unfortunately, this has led me to eating...a lot. And not so healthy choices. Pre-pregnancy I was a health nut and would not touch gluten, red meat or sugar. Now my body craves these foods. Pre-pregnancy, I thought I would manage my weight carefully sticking to my health rules for nutrition. How quickly baby changes things, even when baby has not been born. I have had more sugar in the last few weeks than I have had in the last five years. Not good but it sure tasted amazing! I broke down last week and ate gluten products. I was desperate for relief and a regular cracker sounded so amazing.  The crackers did not let me down. They were my favorite meal last week. While I don't have celiacs, I do have gluten sensitivity so my stomach did not like the crackers but the nausea temporarily went away. To me, that was worth tummy troubles.

Pre-pregnancy I thought nausea would mean you could not eat anything. Not for me, I eat all the time because that is the only time I feel better. I am trying to get back to my healthy ways this week. I bought some crystallized ginger to help with the nausea (will see if that works) but I have to eat better for me and for bundle. Mom picked on me the other day saying I got pregnant as an excuse to eat bread. While I did not want an excuse to eat bread, I enjoyed my food vacation the other day. But all and all, I learned that nothing really conquers the nausea except time. Supposedly it will disappear soon. In the meantime, I take comfort in the nausea being a reminder that bundle is with me.

Oh Baby!

"Don't get excited yet, it's malfunctioning!"  Women who want a baby imagine just how the special moment will unfold.  Women think about how they will tell the soon to be papas. There is a glow to the daydream and all is well.  Well, 5 days after Thanksgiving this year, our special moment came.  Nothing like a daydream or well planned moment but more like a whirlwind that blurred everything.  I have been asked often how did I tell hubby. My first words when I saw the excitement on his face was to not get excited yet because the test was malfunctioning! Not exactly words you daydream about telling in your special moment.  It was perfect.

The test turned from a blank screen to a positive pink plus sign before I could even finish taking the test.  The quick result, not the five minute wait indicated on the package, made me think that the test had malfunctioned.  I asked Ed to come check it because I did not trust my eyes. I looked at him while he saw the test for the first time and witnessed a completely sincere, beautiful reaction. His eyes lit up with excitement and his hand went over his open mouth.We spent the rest of the evening bouncing through a variety of emotions but mainly disbelief and excitement.

Yes, about 8 months into our marriage we found out we are expecting. We were going to wait the standard year before really trying but our little bundle had other plans.  Bundle (short for Bundle of Joy) is scheduled to arrive on August 3rd, a day after Ed's 40th birthday. I have been telling Ed that I wanted to give him something special for his 40th...mission accomplished!  He is so excited that he hopes Bundle arrives on his birthday.  For some reason, I believe Bundle will come a few days early but we will see.

Last year you joined me on the journey to marriage and the first few months of marriage. Now the conversation continues. A conversation that I promise to be better at updating (last semester was just crazy busy).  In the coming months, I will be continuing to blog about marriage because  we are still newlyweds!  I will also be talking about pregnancy and sharing as many details as (comfortably) possible. And of course as a Modern Day Southern Belle there will always be stories of the South.  I hope you will join me in this next journey of my life!

Birthday New Beginnings

I have been 35 for five days. Just five days into a brand new year for me.  I love birthdays because, well let's be honest, I just love a party especially if the party is focused on me. But even more important, or at least equally important, I love a chance for renewal. A chance to look back at what I have done so far and what I want to do in the future. I look forward to New Year's every year and I definitely set those goals. I write them down and look at them frequently to check them off.  I have never met all of them.  For example, I have yet to make a sugar free cheesecake but regardless of the things I have not accomplished there are things on my list every year that I do accomplish.  But I don't just have one list, I have two.  To me birthdays are my own personal New Year and I create my own to do list with both fun and serious items to accomplish before my next birthday.

This year is a big year. To me, 35 is a milestone because there are five years left in my 30s. I don't usually plan in five year increments because that is too overwhelming to consider but this year I gave it thought and there are some definite things that I want to accomplish before 40.  However, in order to accomplish big goals, you have to first create smaller chunks of them.  Therefore, I have my list of things I want to do during my 35th year that will take me several steps closer to the ones I wish to have accomplished by 40.

Like I said some are silly  and some are ambitious because a balanced life has both.  I will share a few with you for examples. Maybe you will be inclined to start your own.

1. Since life has been super busy lately with work commitments, I have let my hobbies go. I am tired when I get home and I over committed myself with other after hours projects. Now some of those projects are done and I am refocusing my priorities on revisiting my hobbies. I want to create again. I want to paint. I want to photograph more and actually frame some of those pictures. And yes, I am totally in the nesting phase so I want to decorate the house, make things to fill the house and cook all kinds of new recipes.

2.  I understand that this goal is somewhat superficial but nevertheless I still want to do it. I am proud of my age. My mom always was and I am not ashamed to admit what my age is....but that is a whole other blog topic. However, I still want to look as young as possible. So one goal this year is to "grow younger." Bring on the healthy eating and exercise. Time to shop for some new clothes.  And slather my body in all types of anti aging creams and treatments.  This focus is a nice release for me and it is fun to get pampered.  A pampered me makes for a happier me.

3. Write. Write. Write. I want to publish a book. I want to write a ten minute play. I want to have a really cool blog.  I let other things get in the way constantly. Time to make it a priority!

4. And the last one I will tell you about....travel to a new place. The Dalai Lama says to do this once a year. I am not Buddhist but I am smart enough to follow the advice of a very wise man.  I don't know where yet but I will figure out a place to travel before I turn 36.

Yes, there are more goals. I will tell you them as they are accomplished.  Until then...start your own list!

7 Months!

Today Ed and I have been married 7 months!  In honor of hitting number 7 in our newlywed year I give my top 7 favorite things about being married.

7. Cooking dinner at home on a regular work day evening. Eating and hanging out with our fur baby Lulu Belle while fighting over which tv show we watch (we have very different television viewing habits).

6. Dreaming about all the trips we want to take in the near future. Currently planning our first year anniversary trip!

5.  Planning our first holiday season together!  I am loving picking out our decorations and trying very hard to figure out a way to sneak in glittery decorations without him making too much of a fuss.

4. Grocery shopping together. It is a very simple task but it happily reminds me we are married and we have a home together.

3. Entertaining together.Our home is usually the venue for some social gathering about once a week.  I love having a full, busy home!

2. Encouraging each other to go after the big dreams. He is constantly pushing me to write and believes that I can finally write that great novel. On a side note, I am using November to get back into my writing routine and I am participating in National Novel Writing Month.

1. Seeing his wedding ring on his hand and getting feelings of love and comfort knowing he is my sweet husband who is totally committed to me. 

Bring On The Holiday Commericals (My soapbox for the day)

Getting dressed for work this morning, I heard Jingle Bells floating through the house but the words were slightly changed to advertise the local business.  I love this time of the year!  No, you will not catch me complaining about the onslaught of holiday commercials that start slowly peeking out around October 20th but become a regular occurrence by the beginning of November.  It is fun! And why complain about fun?  No, Christmas is not here yet. We still do have Thanksgiving to celebrate and of course my birthday as well!  But do the Christmas commercials take away from my ability to celebrate Thanksgiving or my birthday or the rest of football season? No!  It just reminds me of all the fun times coming up.  No one ever complains about a summer vacation commercial in February.  We still celebrate Valentine's and play in the snow but when we are freezing it reminds us that warm times will arrive again.  So to all the bah humbuggers out there, stop complaining and start enjoying all of the holidays. It is suppose to be fun and your yearly ritual of whining about the holiday commericals coming on to early won't stop it so keep your negative thoughts to yourself while the rest of us happily hum Jingle Bells!

Marry Me Monday: Back in September

School is starting and you can definitely feel the energy of all the college students coming back to our wonderful, little town of Oxford.  To accommodate all these students means a lot of work to keep the excitement from turning into chaos.  So I will be taking a short blogging break to give my focus to my work and I will return on September 16th with even more stories of life in the fabulous South!