Marry Me Monday: Journal

In my work counseling students on career paths, I frequently suggest writing or journaling as a means to clarify thoughts. Obviously I love to write so the act of writing often helps me think through ideas and understand my feelings better.  Writing may not be helpful to everyone but I can't imagine a day going by without scribbling something down.  The journal also lets you document special times in your life which allows you to go back over the years to reflect and see how much you have grown.  Given that being engaged is one of those special times that I wish to document, I am following the advice to write during this time.  After reading one of the first things you should do after getting engaged is to keep a journal, I decided to dedicate my journal entries over this year to the marriage preparation process.  I am learning with the plethora of emotions and questions that come at this time, it will help me to write so that I can better clarify my feelings and therefore contribute to a strong foundation for our marriage. In addition to feelings and documenting special times, I am also reading and wanting to remember marriage advice.  Being married will be new to us so I am learning everything I can on what makes a marriage successful and by writing it down I will have my own reference guide! 

Of course you can journal about anything. I have been keeping journals or diaries since I was six.  Those are some funny entries to read.  My 1st grade handwriting reminds me that my biggest concern was not getting enough play time!  If you have not kept a journal before or if you have not found it as effective as it could be try implementing a few of these tips:

1. What makes journal writing effective is consistency so make sure you are jotting something down every day. 

2. Remember to be honest - don't write for anyone but you. The only way you will figure out your true feelings is to make sure your writing is genuine.  Your journal is not a place where you have to make an impression.

3. Just write. Don't feel like you have to write a lot.  Some days you will have a lot to say. Others days you may just have a sentence or two.  Do whatever feels comfortable.

4. Don't feel like you have to have complete sentences, correct grammar, or grand ideas.  You don't have to edit or be perfect. 

5. When in doubt on what to write, write a list of at least five things you are grateful for that day.  In fact, no matter what I write for that day I always end my journal entry with my list.  The list is a very powerful tool on keeping you focused on all that you do have. 

Explore. Dream. Discover

I came across this quote from Mark Twain today in a professional publication and loved it.  We have all heard this advice in some form before but I believe Mark Twain most eloquently states it.  His words resonated with me as good advice for the students I work with as well as for myself, family and friends. 

"Twenty years from now you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Because my job involves constantly pushing others to grow to accomplish their dreams, I am required to also look at myself and ask myself am I following my own advice.  It holds me accountable so that I am not telling students to do as I say not as I do!  I get to stay motivated.  This quote reminded me to refocus on some of my dreams that I have let slip simply due to a busy life.  But I guess it is time to reorganize my time!  At least that is what I would tell my students.   I am fortunate that I have a very full, rewarding life so I feel like most of the time I am exploring, dreaming and discovering.  However, the one things that I have neglected that came to mind instantly are the three books I started writing and all sit unfinished.  I would be very disappointed twenty years from now if I was still saying that one day I am going to finish those books.  They would probably be too outdated by that time anyway!  But because of that quote today, I am going to finish those books.  What will you make sure you accomplish?

Marry Me Monday: Baby's Breath

Lately, I have been looking through numerous pictures of flower ideas for the ceremony and reception.  Thankfully I am not attached to a specific type of flower because being flexible helps reduce the crazy cost of flowers.  I have a look in mind and as long as the flowers reflect our colors then I don't care what type of flower it is or (gasp) if they are even real!  What I have found so far is that I love bright colors and I adore baby's breath.  Not sure what flowers we will use yet for our wedding but these will definitely be an option. If you are looking for a simplistic and elegant way to have beautiful bouquets and flower arrangements then definitely consider baby's breath.  Also, for the budget conscious, they are some of the most inexpensive floral options that I have found so far!

Beautiful Baby's Breath Bouquet via

My Current Obsessions

Beyond all things wedding and marriage, there are five things that are currently at the top of my obsession list.

Massages

I got my first one this summer at The Beau Rivage on our annual Mother's Day trip. If you live near Biloxi or will be visiting soon, I highly recommend The Beau Rivage spa and salon.  Actually, I highly recommend all things Beau.  My mother and I refer to it as the mother-ship because of  how obsessed we are with our annual pilgrimages. If you go to the spa, expect exceptional customer services and a tranquil environment. I am already saying, "ahhhhhh" thinking about my next spa trip! (And no I don't work for Beau Rivage!)

Manis/Pedis

 

Last November, I got my first pedicure for my birthday. People find it shocking that as feminine as I am, my first pedi was at the age of 33!   I loved it.  It appears that this year has been the year of spa indulgence. My favorite nail colors are usually bright. I am currently loving OPI's Strawberry Margarita!

Devotionals

 

My day gets so busy that even with the best intentions I sometimes do not have time to read a devotional in the morning.  That is why I was inspired by a colleague the other day. I noticed his devotional lying on his desk.  Great idea!  A devotional only takes a few minutes to read but a good one can really set the mood for the day.  I do allow myself brain breaks in the middle of the day so my plan is to bring my book to the office. Now I won't have to cram the reading into the morning rush. My favorite is the Daily Guideposts. My grandmother made this devotional a tradition in our family. So every day it is comforting to know that family members are reading the same inspiring messages. 

Food Network

My obsession with the Food Network started about 7 or 8 years ago. I was in the second year of my doc program when I was sick with a typical autumn cold and stuck in bed in late October.  I had the television on The Food Network as I dosed, drowsy from cold medicine.  Now it is my go-to for comfort television. I have it on even when I am not watching just because the sounds of people cooking create a home zen for myself. Especially when the autumn months start to approach.  I love the shows that feature comfort foods and holiday goodies. They even seem to make the lighting more gold and soft to celebrate the fall season which will soon be here.

Statement Necklaces

I have been looking for a statement necklace all summer.  None seem to work for me.  I think it is that I am obsessed with this necklace and can't seem to find it in stores.  I guess I may have to order it online. 

Marry Me Monday: Bed, Bath and Beyond

If you are trying to decide where to register, allow me to highly recommend Bed, Bath & Beyond as one of your places.  Hubby-to-be and I started there and had an amazing experience. The customer service was a perfect textbook example of how customers should be treated. We were told that they want to make this experience an enjoyable and easy one for us so we would be customers for life.  Then the representative proceeded to do just that. She spent 45 minutes with us explaining the process as well as identifying good items to put on our registry. Registering, as fun as it can be, can also be overwhelming.  She was the expert and guided us through the process in a calm, counselor-like demeanor which made registering fun and took out the stress. 

One of the tips that I read before registering is to be sure to check out the policies. For example, Bed, Bath & Beyond allows for returns and exchanges without all kinds of strange conditions. I have heard that another popular place (I won't say the name) has crazy return policies. Examples include you have to have the gift receipt even the item was selected off of your registry and you can only return two items a year.  Our Bed, Bath & Beyond rep assured us they were not going to make this difficult by avoiding constricting policies like those examples.  Even if you don't go to Bed, Bath & Beyond (which you should) make sure you check out the policies before shooting the price gun!  Happy Registering!

www.bedbathandbeyond.com

 

Live BIG!

I love quotes and inspiring stories.  I surround myself with these ideas because not only does it help me in my profession of career counseling, it also encourages me.  Staring at me for the last few days is a post note on my computer with words of wisdom from Nelson Mandela:

There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

What are you doing today to live big? 

I would love to hear your ideas and inspiration!

Marry Me Monday

As you already know this Modern Day Southern Belle is getting married!  And while we have only been engaged for a little over a month, we have already booked the church, reception site, caterer, baker, and photographer.  Ed is impressed with how quickly I booked everything. Bless his heart, he thought I just came up with that stuff over night. However, as I kept producing ideas, I think he realized that this plan had been formulating in my head for some time which is why it appeared in such a well executed strategy.  Although I well let him believe as long as he would like that I came up with all these plans overnight. Why should he know that I have been daydreaming about this big event for a few months...or a year?

While all the major venues and vendors have been booked, there is still a long list of all the tiny details to be addressed.   That is where Marry Me Monday comes in.  Inspired by a fellow blogger (http://www.thingsthatsparkleblog.com/) who does a weekly blog titled Wedding Wednesdays, I will share my inspirations, tips, and ideas each week for all you Southern Brides to be or just you girly girls who love a good wedding!

Being that I will only be engaged once in my life, I am having fun with it and refusing to get stressed.  Although, I can see where stress can easily enter the picture. However, I truly believe the wedding day is just one day and I choose to focus on what is important which is the marriage. Therefore, I will start off the series of Marry Me Monday with some of the best advice on being engaged that I have been given so far!

Accept the wedding won't be perfect
My friend Lindsey and her husband, Tyler, agreed that their focus was on having a fun reception with good food, drinks, and people.  She told me that she was glad she had this laid back attitude because when her chair covers arrived the day of the wedding in a color that was not what she ordered, she did not panic like some other brides might have.  Because really - who really cares about the color of the chair slips if the party is good?  The overall result was she just let the day be and it was beautiful.  Ed and I agreed we wanted our focus to be the same thing: surrounded by our loved ones eating, drinking, and having a great time. 

Enjoy the planning but don't forget the rest of your life too
I enjoy every phase of my life and being engaged is an exciting phase I get to experience. I am truly enjoying the process of planning a wedding as well as planning our future marriage.  I want to experience every aspect of it because this is the only time we will be engaged.  However, I have known couples who only focused on the wedding for their engagement and I wondered if they did not even know what to talk about after the wedding was done.  I love the advice to set aside some time to just enjoy each other and forget about all the wedding talk.  I think we have done a good job with this so far...hopefully Ed thinks the same thing too!

Set a budget and stick to it
Weddings are expensive but this bride is on a budget.  Even if I did not have to be, I still would not want to spend a ridiculous amount on one day.  I have to admit that while it would be easier to just go out and get whatever we need, it has been fun negotiating prices and finding good deals.  I will share some of my ideas in upcoming blogs for the many of you who are not planning on going into debt for your wedding!

Most importantly, focus on the marriage preparation The most exciting part of being engaged has very little to do with flowers, dresses,and cakes. For me, I have always been most intrigued with the marriage preparation.  I love the idea of discussing the tough stuff and getting to know Ed on a much deeper level.  I anticipate some of the conversations will be more difficult than others but all will result in a new understanding of each other and a mutual, loving approach to our new life together.