Peas and Resolutions

Traditions mean a lot to us Southerners. They are what bind us together even when jobs and new adventures take us to regions far away from the South.  One tradition that all of us hold onto with a religion-like commitment is the New Year's Day meal.  No matter where you are that day, you scramble to eat your black eyed peas, cabbage, and pork because this is the meal that gets the year off to a lucky, prosperous start.

This New Year's Day, my friends all over the South posted pictures or updated statuses of the requisite meal we were all eating.  The meal closed the miles between friends and family who have moved away and were spending their day in other states like New York and Montana.  There is something comforting about knowing that no matter where we all were, we were all  sharing the same meal that day.


The Search for Peas

This morning I asked my friend how her New Year's Day was with her great aunt who will soon be 94 years old.  She looked at me with an exasperated look and said, "She didn't have black eyed peas!"  As the perfect example of a Southerner, she went on to say that we all know that we have to have black eyed peas, cabbage, and ham for New Year's but her aunt had decided to have just the green side of the meal. She cooked cabbage, turnip greens, and ham.  I have to admit the superstitious side of me made me uncomfortable for her.  I know that it is all silly superstition but the meal is such a part of our culture that I would not want to start my year off without the peas for luck and the cabbage for money!

I laughed and responded that at least she will get a lot of money this year by eating two servings of greens.But my friend needed luck with her money! She ate the overloaded green meal with her aunt but suggested they go to a catfish restaurant for dinner so she could get her black eyed peas before the day was over.  They drive up to the place, only to find it closed.  She tells her aunt she has to find these peas and her aunt suggested another restaurant.  The other restaurant was opened....it was a Mexican restaurant.  Needless to say, they didn't have black eyed peas at La Margarita so my friend faces the beginning of her year without the necessary ingredients.  Maybe she will find a four leaf clover by St. Paddy's day to save her year! 


After the Meal and Champagne Toasts...

One thing that not all us Southerners necessarily do is set resolutions but I love them.  I do not understand why some people don't like them. I love dreaming about the adventures my year might hold. I enjoy envisioning how I can become better and accomplish new goals. To me, people who refuse resolutions are not merely bunking a societal norm for the sake of being different but instead are either afraid of failure or do not understand the benefits of challenge and growth. I set resolutions or goals for myself at least twice a year.  Once on my birthday which I consider to be my own personal new year's and on New Year's Day.

Of course as a career counselor, I teach people how to set goals and work toward them on a daily basis. By setting goals and keeping yourself in check you move from just existing in this life to really living. I set a lot each year. Some are serious while some are fun and frivolous. I write them down and check them often. I have yet to accomplish all of my resolutions but some years I come very close. However, if I had not set them at all then I would not even have come close, right? Like Norman Vincent Peale said, "Reach for the moon, even if you miss, you will fall among the stars." The point is to try and the new year gives us a symbolic reminder to try new things for our lives.

If you are still trying to decide whether or not to resolve to do something, I say do it.  Some different suggestions include fun resolutions like go to a place this year you have never been (on my list). You can do something frivolous like buy more shoes (that one also made my list this year). You may want to be more spiritual by attending church more, taking a religion class, or reading books that inspire your deeper side (yes, on my list). Of course, you can always lose weight and get healthier. One year I tried a year of trying something different every month.  I would record the new experience from that month in my journal. After the year was over, I had fun looking back on my new experiences that had added to my life that year.

This year my mother came up with the idea to set 11 resolutions for 2011. I followed her lead by doing the same thing. I won't list them all right now but if I even accomplish a portion of them then this year will be an exciting year in my life. Happy New Year Y'all!