Little Ways

As I was getting dressed this morning, I was thinking about mindfulness and being in the moment which led me to the thought about how being in the moment can lead us to recognize opportunities to help others.  Even the smallest of actions, when recognized and genuinely acted on, can make a difference that can last a life time.

I use to compete in dance competitions as a child. Dance was my world and I thought would one day become my career.  The commitment to the art helped me overlook that around 8th grade none of the girls in my dance class liked me.  The dislike was little petty childlike things that we all go through and they never were outwardly cruel to me but I was ostracized and isolated from their friendship.  Not being a member of their clique never bothered me during dance classes because we were so busy rehearsing but traveling to competitions highlighted that I was definitely not their friend.  Now we have all got passed the silly things that make children rude to each other. But as an 8th grader, it hurt and one stranger's kind yet simple gesture eased that pain. His small way of helping has lasted as a lifetime reminder of how powerful a small action can be.

We were at a dance competition in New Orleans in January.  The hotel was a happy place and decorated for Mardi Gras.  I was happy to be at the competition and relieved that my mother had made the trip as a chaperone because her presence meant I did not have to be completely alone. But of course, as a 14 year old girl, I wondered what was wrong with me that the other girls did not want me around.  Obviously this sadness must have been evident.

We were getting on a elevator and just as the doors were about to shut, a man dressed in a suit jumped on. With just three of us on the elevator, we did the typical elevator behavior and looked at the numbers.  He broke the silence, "I want you to have this."  I looked at the man who was looking at me holding a perfect tiny four leaf clover out to me. I had never seen one before then and I have never found one since.  I told him that he needed to keep the clover because they are rare but thanked him.  The man insisted saying that I might need it more than him.   I thanked the man as I took it and asked him where he found the delicate clover.  He said, "When I got out of my car, I looked down and there it was."  Then he got off the elevator.

I looked down at my little clover and felt happy because someone had taken the opportunity to say, "You matter."  The man cared. As mom and I got off the elevator, we were both perplexed about a four leaf clover in the middle of winter but even more confusing - the hotel parking lot was a parking garage.  Did the man really find it like he said he did?  As we walked into the room, the first thing I saw was someone's angel pin lying on the dresser.  I still smile thinking how at that moment I thought I had encountered an angel.  And while he may not been an angel in the heavenly sense, his actions were angel like.

I am sure that man has long forgotten that tiny action, unless of course he actually was my guardian angel, but I have not.  I was not a kid in any type of crisis, I was just feeling a little sad but that man's action changed my day.  His action now serves as a reminder that while large gestures are helpful and needed, small things make up our life and can have just as much impact. When I teach my students what to look for in their job search, I tell them one of the most important questions to ask is what is done on a daily basis.  I tell them not to be wooed by a large event or a task that sounds fun but only takes place once or twice a year.  That event will not be enough to make them happy because what they do on a daily basis makes up their life.

Several years ago when we became Catholic, my mother and I both chose St. Therese of Liseux as our saint name.  We chose her because her approach to serving God is one everyone can follow and it takes away the stress of having to do anything grandiose to matter to God.  She is known as the Saint of Little Ways because she felt that she could not do anything large for God given life circumstances but she could do thousands of little things to serve God.  As I think about being in the moment during this Lenten season, I pray I identify the moments I can reach out to help others. Just like that man did when he reached out that tiny four leaf clover out to me.  That little clover is still with me - pressed between two pages in a scrapbook.

Can I be Mindful with Wine and Chocolate?

In my pursuit of being more mindful, I started off with my usual first step: Google.  Google and me are definitely best friends.  We are just that tight.  Anyway, what did I Google?  I type in "easy tips for mindfulness." I know that mindfulness is not a quick fix but I am a beginner so I have not quite accepted this journey might involve work.  I am still hoping for a quick top ten list of what I should do. Surprisingly with those search terms I did find an article and I half way read it before starting this blog entry. Yes, I understand switching from reading to writing shows a lack of focus or maybe a moment of inspiration that cannot be passed. Either way, I plan on finishing the article after I write about the first tip I just read.

The author says to first sit up straight. Easy enough, I can practice good posture. But then she suggests being quiet for five to ten minutes. Do what?!?  Okay, that does not sound like fun but I can manage five minutes. However, it gets worse, the author thinks that I can work up to 25 to 30 minutes of this quiet nothingness.  Why would I want to do that? I think being quiet that long is called a nap.

At this point in my journey (all of five minutes in), I am doubting this mindfulness thing. I did not know inner peace came with a ban on talking.  But then again maybe that is why I don't have the inner peace of mindfulness...I don't shut up long enough.

The author goes on to say I need to quiet the inner chatter.  I am not even convinced I can quiet the outer chatter because my mind does not know how to stop so that will be a challenge.  A challenge she addresses in tip number 7 where I am suppose to just bring back my attention when it wanders making it sound so easy and relaxing except I am going to need a leash for my mind. Lately, all it seems to know how to do is wander.  Yep, I am going to need a strong leash.

The article concludes (yes I made it to the end!) with meditation takes practice so be kind to yourself. I can definitely be kind to myself. Although, I am not sure if wine, chocolate, and The Real Housewives of Orange County is what the author had in mind.

On a serious note, I will give meditation a try because I am anxious to be calm. Yeah, I know you noticed the contradiction in that statement.  I will start off with the five minute challenge and if I can manage five minute of blank quietness then it will be quite a success.  And maybe those daily five minutes will give me the promised benefits of a stronger immune system and a lifted mood....although I still think wine and chocolate lifts my mood just fine. 

To access the original article: http://goodlifezen.com/2011/02/22/simple-guide-to-mindfulness-meditation/

Lately I have been trying to figure out how to incorporate more mindfulness into my every day living.  I have made small and very unsuccessful steps toward learning how to make this frame of mind my way of living.  My attempts go something like this:  Google mindfulness, find an article that looks simple and easy to read, click on article, skim the article and decide it is too long because I could be looking at Facebook or Pinterest.  I definitely need mindfulness don't I?  I think my first hint to myself is when I can't even concentrate to read a one page article!  Time to settle my mind and see what is around me.

You know I always hear that Southerners are slower than our Northern friends. Well thank God I was born a Southerner because I don't think my brain could move any faster than it already does! I constantly confuse Boyfriend the way I hop from one topic to the next. However, in my head there is no hopping - just thoughts moving at lightning speed and I can't talk as fast as my thoughts run so it appears as if I am issue hopping.  It is exhausting keeping up with my head sometimes!  Therefore, I have decided to honor the Southern stereotype and slow down and smell some azaleas!

This morning, I  realized that the perfect time to incorporate this new habit would be now during the season of Lent. I can use the Lenten season to study mindfulness, slow my life down and strengthen my focus on the present.  God has blessed me with so many blessings every day but I am running so fast that I often forget to appreciate them. A quote from Pinterest comes to me often, it reads:

If you are depressed, you are living in the past.

If you are anxious, you are living in the future.

If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

See Pinterest is good for more than just wasting time!  Join me as I blog during the Lenten season about slowing down my crazed mind to be more mindful in my life. First step, read an entire article on mindfulness!

Southern Sundays: Gumbo Ya-Ya

Gumbo Ya-Ya: The cajun saying that means "everyone talks at once."  I read this in a Southern Living Cookbook recently and wondered when was the author with my family???  Happy Sunday Y'all!

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures

In honor of  two glorious days of doing whatever we want ahead, otherwise known as the weekend, I am posting my top ten guilty pleasures.  Before I proceed I must mention my disclaimer...doing these so called guilty pleasures really doesn't make me feel guilty at all.  I just feel happy! 

10. Stalking old friends on Facebook to see what is new in their life. I know we have all had the moments where a ten minute Facebook break stole an hour of our lives away.  However, within that hour I am all caught up on the latest with my friends so that is definitely productivity!

9. Sitting on the patio in the evening with good music, family/friends, my patio lights gleaming, and a glass of wine or three that leads to the most fascinating conversations. Although right now you would also need a blanket, space heater and coat....where are you spring???

8. Trash TV.  Love it!  It is my time to completely disconnect from anything intelligent and gawk at other people's slightly staged antics.  Unfortunately I probably love too many trash tv shows. My faves include all of the real housewives shows, the Kardashians (yes I said the Kardashians),  the Bachelor (although the current Bachelor makes me want to gag!), American Idol, and Say Yes to the Dress.  Boyfriend laughs at my trash TV addiction but he actually watched a few episodes with me recently.  To protect his "manliness", I won't tell you which one but I will tell you his running commentary made the show ten times funnier! 

7. Cooking and dancing to my choice of cooking music with a glass of wine and the white Christmas lights lit up in my fig trees.  If you come to my house, you can grab a spatula or spoon and help me cook while we dance to Jimmy Buffett.  Buffett is the only way I can successfully make it through my winter blues. 

6. Perusing and re-pinning on Pinterest for hours. Enough said.

5.  Sitting on the balcony of City Grocery with good friends and laughter.  I think I may be starting to notice an outside/wine connection as a recurring theme in my guilty pleasures.

4. Random road trip.

3. Pampering myself.  Pampering can include, but not limited to, a long bath with a good book, mani/pedi, trip to the salon, shopping, shopping, shopping.  Okay, yeah I should have just said shopping for number three.

2. Coffee shops. Love them because somehow the atmosphere always reignites the creativity in me.

1. Good food.  Always number one in guilty pleasures...with of course good wine and dark chocolate.


 Happy Friday y'all!

Southern Sundays: A Family Funny

I have to share a funny quote found in my GRITS book - you do have a copy don't you?  After all every Southern Belle should!

"No one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just asks what side they're on."

Gotta love Dixie Carter (a Tennessee GRITS) as Julia on Designing Women!  Happy Sunday y'all!

A Fat Wreath for Carnival Season

The mess of materials before starting. I was wondering if my creation was going to look like a mess after I put it together!

Green Christmas wreath wrapped in lime green sparkly ribbon left over from Christmas.

Gold ribbon wrapped around the wreath. Arrange to fill in gaps.

Add a Mardi Gras boa on one side and wrap purple, gold, and green beads on the other side.

Final touch: a mask!  And ta da: A Mardi Gras Wreath!