Little Ways

As I was getting dressed this morning, I was thinking about mindfulness and being in the moment which led me to the thought about how being in the moment can lead us to recognize opportunities to help others.  Even the smallest of actions, when recognized and genuinely acted on, can make a difference that can last a life time.

I use to compete in dance competitions as a child. Dance was my world and I thought would one day become my career.  The commitment to the art helped me overlook that around 8th grade none of the girls in my dance class liked me.  The dislike was little petty childlike things that we all go through and they never were outwardly cruel to me but I was ostracized and isolated from their friendship.  Not being a member of their clique never bothered me during dance classes because we were so busy rehearsing but traveling to competitions highlighted that I was definitely not their friend.  Now we have all got passed the silly things that make children rude to each other. But as an 8th grader, it hurt and one stranger's kind yet simple gesture eased that pain. His small way of helping has lasted as a lifetime reminder of how powerful a small action can be.

We were at a dance competition in New Orleans in January.  The hotel was a happy place and decorated for Mardi Gras.  I was happy to be at the competition and relieved that my mother had made the trip as a chaperone because her presence meant I did not have to be completely alone. But of course, as a 14 year old girl, I wondered what was wrong with me that the other girls did not want me around.  Obviously this sadness must have been evident.

We were getting on a elevator and just as the doors were about to shut, a man dressed in a suit jumped on. With just three of us on the elevator, we did the typical elevator behavior and looked at the numbers.  He broke the silence, "I want you to have this."  I looked at the man who was looking at me holding a perfect tiny four leaf clover out to me. I had never seen one before then and I have never found one since.  I told him that he needed to keep the clover because they are rare but thanked him.  The man insisted saying that I might need it more than him.   I thanked the man as I took it and asked him where he found the delicate clover.  He said, "When I got out of my car, I looked down and there it was."  Then he got off the elevator.

I looked down at my little clover and felt happy because someone had taken the opportunity to say, "You matter."  The man cared. As mom and I got off the elevator, we were both perplexed about a four leaf clover in the middle of winter but even more confusing - the hotel parking lot was a parking garage.  Did the man really find it like he said he did?  As we walked into the room, the first thing I saw was someone's angel pin lying on the dresser.  I still smile thinking how at that moment I thought I had encountered an angel.  And while he may not been an angel in the heavenly sense, his actions were angel like.

I am sure that man has long forgotten that tiny action, unless of course he actually was my guardian angel, but I have not.  I was not a kid in any type of crisis, I was just feeling a little sad but that man's action changed my day.  His action now serves as a reminder that while large gestures are helpful and needed, small things make up our life and can have just as much impact. When I teach my students what to look for in their job search, I tell them one of the most important questions to ask is what is done on a daily basis.  I tell them not to be wooed by a large event or a task that sounds fun but only takes place once or twice a year.  That event will not be enough to make them happy because what they do on a daily basis makes up their life.

Several years ago when we became Catholic, my mother and I both chose St. Therese of Liseux as our saint name.  We chose her because her approach to serving God is one everyone can follow and it takes away the stress of having to do anything grandiose to matter to God.  She is known as the Saint of Little Ways because she felt that she could not do anything large for God given life circumstances but she could do thousands of little things to serve God.  As I think about being in the moment during this Lenten season, I pray I identify the moments I can reach out to help others. Just like that man did when he reached out that tiny four leaf clover out to me.  That little clover is still with me - pressed between two pages in a scrapbook.