The Stilts (Formerly Known as Shoes)

In my family, I am known for my high heels. They would not know what to do if I attended any family event without them, this includes even sport-like events that I am not watching but participating in.  Yeah, I am just that good in heels.  Really though heels are a necessity for me. At 5'2 and not knowing how to hem pants and refusing to buy petite length pants, I HAVE to wear heels a lot just so that my pants will fit.  But I love heels and I love the one and a half to two extra inches I get.  Yes, that is right I said one and a half to two extra inches. Not three or four.  I feel very tall with my couple extra inches and wonder as I walk in my heels why again I wasn't tall enough for modeling or the Rockettes.  I can dance in heels!  But I still wasn't tall enough.  However, put me in the mega heels that are so popular today and I don't feel tall, I feel like I need an oxygen mask to keep from being lightheaded. Yes, I get lightheaded at this height even though I am only up there for a few seconds before I fall.  For a dancer, I sure am clumsy!

But seriously what is up with the height of shoes these days?  You seem to get two choices: prairie-plain-like flat or hooker high!  The selection of shoes makes one of my very serious New Year's resolutions extremely challenging. I knew this resolution would be a challenge but I thought I could at least attempt the very esteemed goal of buying more shoes in 2011.  However, shopping for the perfect shoe is getting more and  more difficult.  For example, I absolutely love Lulu's in Oxford (yes, store owners of Lulu's you can pay me later in shoes for this plug) but finding shoes that I can actually walk out of the store wearing is getting harder and harder.  I can find plenty that I can sit in but not walk in,let alone barely stand in without the aid of something to hold on to as I propel myself up, up, and away on those jet liner heels.

And stop! Don't even think about suggesting it! I will not wear flats.  Yuck! I feel dumpy and shorter than my 5'2 height.  My idea of a flat is a platform shoe.  Afterall the bottom of the shoe is flat, right? But there are a ton of flats to choose from in Lulu's. Such a waste to design such beautiful shoes but forget the heel on them.  But I guess this section of Lulu's could be the "tall girl who doesn't need heels" section. So what selections are left for the short girls?  The shoes that will make you as tall as your tall girlfriends.  Let's do the math here, I am 5'2 (have I mentioned that yet?) and my tallest friends are around 6 feet.  Ok, so I am actually 5'1'' and 3/4ths but for my self-esteem I stand up straight and fudge my height ever so slightly.  Give a short girl a break already!  But anyway, that means for me to catch up with them I have to go to the stilt section of the shoe store. Ahhhh but no worries because THAT is just how high the heels are that are currently in fashion today.

I tell myself that I can wear these heels just like anyone else does and find the shortest of the ladders, I mean shoes.  I find some really cute ones (not ones that look like torture traps but that is a whole other blog) and sit down to try them on.  So cute on while sitting! And then I stand and wobble.  I know how Bambi feels but the lady beside me was far from friendly Thumper.  Because when I said in a lighthearted way that I would need to take a class to learn how to stand in these shoes, she just glared at me in disgrace.  I stopped myself from telling her that I am the girliest girl I know and that by not being able to wear these stupid stilts does not make me any less girlie! But I kept my mouth shut and just thought really mean things about the glarer, things I shouldn't repeat in the written word. However if you really want to know, just call me.

Anyway, to stay on my goal of my buying more shoes this year I bought a pair of ridiculously high heels.  Seriously, the purchase was just to help me stay true to my New Year's resolution which I am very committed to completing. And I took a picture as proof! See below. I know they don't look that high but they really are. I wear them inside my home...sitting.  Sometimes I wobble around in them. I feel so flirty and feminine in them....before I fall.  I got the idea to take a picture of my shoes from a shoe obsessed friend of mine who  daily takes and posts pictures of her shoes on Facebook.  She has mastered the art of wearing the stilts.  However, I do notice that in all the pictures she, too, is sitting.  So is this what we have come to ladies?  We have one pair of seriously killer shoes for sitting and keep another pair handy for actual use?  Hmmm....stay tuned because I guess my next post will be about ridiculously huge handbags to carry our multiple pairs of shoes for multiple uses!

                                                     My cute "sitting" shoes from Lulu's!