Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Lessons on Life and Love from a True Southern Belle

You never know what kind of impact you have on a person.  This is so true for me when I think about my Great Aunt Bobbie.  Throughout my life, I did not spend large chunks of time with her but her personality and lifestyle traveled through family stories and was witnessed at our gatherings.  These stories shaped me and inspire me today on how I want to age and live. My Great Aunt Bobbie left this earth for Heaven on July 27th.  It is bittersweet to write about her passing but my family takes comfort in knowing that she lived 96 years and truly lived.

Feisty is a Family Trait
I have come to realize that there isn't a woman in our family that does not have a fire streak in her. I believe just like the color of eyes and hair are family traits in some families, the strong feisty characteristic runs through our family's bloodline. If you are a woman in our family, you have this trait.  We definitely are not the quiet types that let our opinions go unheard. However, we state our opinions with a southern charm and grace (well, at least most of the time).  We all saw one of Aunt Bobbie's defining characteristics as fiesty.  So much in fact that the description was used in her obituary.  In her later years when she was often ill, the family conveyed that she was doing better by telling each other that she was back to being feisty.

Wine...the Drink for Longevity?
If fiesty runs through the family, so does our love for wine.  I think I was destined to be a wine lover. And my Aunt Bobbie loved her red wine (and margaritas too!). The evening of her funeral, mom and I drank wine in her honor.  Yes, we always drink wine but that night we drank in her honor.  Last year when she was in the hospital, she told my mother she was ready to get home so she could have a glass of red wine.  She told my mom how much she loved her red wine.  Right when she got home, she had her lunch on the patio with a glass of red wine.  Maybe there is something to being fiesty and drinking wine contributing to a long, full life. Thank goodness I drink wine!

Age Does Not Dictate Fun
One of my pet peeves is to hear people say they are getting old as a way of saying that they can't do something anymore.  I especially hate to hear anyone in their 30s and 40s say it.  Why don't they just say the truth?  Age has nothing to do with not living but being boring does!

I try to avoid people with this mentality because as long as I am on this earth I plan on living.  As children we hate to be told we can't do something because we are too young so I will never understand why some people impose that restriction on themselves when they age. You will never hear me say that I am getting old and can't do something. It wasn't the way I was raised nor the way my family acts.

When I am around someone with that perspective, I think about Aunt Bobbie and Uncle James because that is how I choose to age.  They never stopped living.  I love the story of how they celebrated their wedding anniversary when they were in their 80s. I believe it was their 65th anniversary and Uncle James asked Aunt Bobbie what did she want to do to celebrate.
     Aunt Bobbie's response was,  "It is on a Wednesday right?"

     Uncle James said,  "Yes."

    Aunt Bobbie then proceeded to say, "Well what do we always do on a Wednesday? We go to Hal  and Mal's (a Jackson bar) for onion rings!"

So that is how they celebrated.  They had drinks and onion rings at a famous bar but a place that was not unusual to them. The point I love is the bar was how they spent most of their Wednesdays.  I use that as an example because many older Southern people will take to the house - almost becoming reclusive and they leave the partying to the young people. Not them. They realized that life was good and they celebrated all of it. 

The celebrations extended to all her family. She dearly loved her family.  They lived together at different times, worked together and played together. In our family, we definitely believe a family who plays together stays together.  Aunt Bobbie's family is known for not only being incredibly close but being a fun family.  They had all types of parties and gatherings - big family birthday parties, New Year's Breakfasts (after midnight on New Year's Eve), and Halloween parties to name a select few.  The family closeness continued on to the family business.  They started and still operate Art Supply Headquarters in Jackson and at one time or another, a majority of our family has worked there.

Happily Married....Even With Differences
As I look to what I want my married life to be, I look at Aunt Bobbie and Uncle James as an inspiring example. They truly loved each other.  They also let each other be individuals.  Rumor has it that they were a marriage of political divide. Now, I can't guarantee this story is true but I love it as I am about to enter into my own bipartisan marriage. My Aunt Margaret use to tell that Aunt Bobbie was a Democrat and Uncle James was a Republican so on election days they would go vote each other out.  It is important to note the disclaimer that my Aunt Margaret was a dedicated Democrat and she wanted everyone else to be as well.  Therefore, I think the story was true but can't be 100% certain because you know us Southerners...we do love a good story even if that means adding our own special embellishments!


Her Life Will Continue To Inspire
These are my versions of the stories that inspire me.  I am sure that her immediate family could do a far better job of creating a clearer picture of this woman that I admire as they knew her in her fullness.  I wish I knew her even better but I am grateful that like all Southerners - I come from a family of story tellers where her story will continue to live on and inspire future generations of our family to truly live.

Aunt Bobbie
Uncle James (the perfect Southern storyteller) and Aunt Bobbie

No comments:

Post a Comment